Twenty-Three

I was physically and sexually assaulted on campus at the end of my first year at Circle in the Square Theatre School. A late night rehearsal on campus was being held for our first year Cabaret. Students were working one on one with Beth Falcone while other students were practicing in other rooms throughout the basement/foyer. It was after dark and the box office entrance was locked up - leaving the elevator as the only exit. At that time, it was separated by a one-way locking door (the key card system was conveniently installed the next year - I assume to prevent what happened to me from happening to someone else in the same spot).

A fellow classmate and good friend of mine, Anthony, physically and sexually assaulted me. I screamed and banged on the door for other students to help during the full ordeal (probably 30 minutes). The security guard upstairs heard my screams for help and called the police who interrupted Anthony choking me out. In the process of pulling Anthony from choking me, he broke a police officer's fingers.

I remember my friend coming out and helping me away from the police while they tried to restrain Anthony. Someone had told her that they heard Anthony and I rehearsing a scene for Scene Night but she knew I was not partnered with Anthony and immediately came running. The NYPD took me to the police station for my statement and I took the subway home alone after.

The massive amount of pressure to “suffer for your art” bred by the school led me to show up the next day - because it was First Year Scene Night that evening and I didn't feel like I had a choice.

I was brought directly in to talk to Colin O’Leary and a male security guard from the building. It was then I was asked to disclose what happened to me, again, to a room of men for the second time in 24 hours (the first time being to the police taking my statement). I was informed there was no security camera footage where the attack took place. After that was finished, Colin sent me back to class - with zero follow up. The school never suggested I see a therapist, did not offer to give me time off (Circle has a strict attendance policy), and was completely unprepared to handle the situation.

What happened the night before was talked about in every single class I attended that next day (as my fellow classmate processed out loud), with each teacher taking a second to check in with me. Some were supportive and others offensive/insensitive. The worst part of it all was multiple people heard my SCREAMS for help but thought I was working on a scene assigned by Alan Langdon to First Year students where the female character repeatedly screams for help at a door.

The two worst responses aside from the administration would be Elizabeth Loughran and Alan Langdon - openly discussing it in class and, in my opinion, encouraging me to channel this trauma into my work. (Again, First Year Scene Night was later that evening.) The incident was discussed well into my second year. 

The two best responses being Ed Berkeley and Jacqueline Jacobus: who instantly shut down group conversation about it, checked in with me privately and with compassion, encouraged me to do what I needed to do,  and get the help if needed. Ed even excused me from a rehearsal so I could go get my restraining order in place.

I experienced one of the most violating experiences of my life at Circle in the Square Theatre School and all the school did was make it much worse. Every school should have a written sexual violence prevention and response plan. #metoo

This is simply my first hand experience. I was witness to multiple Macro and Micro-aggressions to my fellow BIPOC students at the hands of the Administration, Alan, Elizabeth, Larry Gleason, Sara Louise Lazarus, Christina Pastor and Dr. Lucille S. Rubin.

— Maddison Vestrum-McIver, Class of 2015