Twenty-Five
During my second year at Circle, I was dealing with considerable mental health issues. There were times I had to leave early because of panic attacks triggered by overstimulation or over-exhaustion. Regardless, I always pushed myself to do more and more work, despite my declining mental and physical health. Then, in the semester, my grandfather passed away and I had to leave to attend his funeral. Because of the demands at Circle, I had to spend less than a week with my family. I was given no time off from my scene work and was expected to perform the first day back after traveling. My scene partner at the time personally contacted the teacher of our class, to tell him that I was using my grandfather’s death as an excuse to not do work, in addition to spreading this rumor throughout the class. This instance was created by a culture at Circle which puts work and proving your work/work ethic before any other aspect of our lives. This pressure to work and show productivity is a control method of imperialism and capitalism, which makes our entire worth and value as people dependent on our ability to create commodity, profit, etc.
As mostly young people, many of us were very impressionable. Given the strong power dynamics and pressure to perform, there is an energy and culture of submission and conformity that places these demands of ‘the work’ above all else and furthermore creates and encourages these tactics amongst the students, and gives more power to the teachers who create this culture.
A guest acting teacher at Circle, who was a grad, and is now a full time faculty member once said that when you see Circle grad outside in the real world once you’ve graduated, that it’s like how veterans treat each other, there is a bond because we went through a war together. An acting conservatory should be a safe place, not a place equated with war, trauma, and violence. It should be a place where people can feel free to be vulnerable and free to be connected with their truest selves, in order to be able to transform.
— Jordan Donohue, Class of 2015