Thirteen

Having a somewhat rare physical condition is a challenge in itself but attending Circle with it presented a unique, constantly uphill struggle in itself. I am already used to facing discrimination in certain areas but while at Circle I was never offered any empathy (something that actors’/artists’ hearts should be pumping along with blood). I was not afforded the comfort of knowing I would not be penalized if I physically had to spend a few classes working a lesser capacity.

The syndrome with which I must live causes a state of joint hyper-mobility and instability. This results in chronic musculoskeletal pain, cardiovascular abnormalities, occasional joint dislocation, and can cause dysfunction of the autonomic nervous system. All of this information can easily be found through various search engines. The school has known about my syndrome and its symptoms not just since I put it on my forms upon enrollment, but since I brought it up to the school’s director at my initial audition. I personally informed each and every member of the faculty of my condition multiple times, even going above and beyond to provide fact sheets. No faculty members have ever once been able to recall what condition I have. 

The lack of willingness to understand has not only been highly discouraging to me personally, but also professionally. Cruel gossip surrounding the credibility of my condition went around on days that I was not inhibited (though I am constantly in some form of pain).

Multiple faculty members were so kind as to remind me that I might have difficulty sustaining a career. One faculty member went so far as to speculate whether or not I could carry a child to term. This horrifying comment was obviously completely out of line but was ignored when I brought it to the school’s director. These offenses happened as an actress in a wheelchair earned a Tony Award for her performance on the professional stage shared with the school.

Difficult days were made harder by the fact the school does not have adequate disabled access. I had to leave hours earlier to access the nearest subway station with an elevator, only to struggle with maneuvering the school’s multiple flights of stairs. These extenuating circumstances sometimes resulted in tardiness, which was met with no understanding. I had particular trouble getting to the off-site dance studio on time and would relay a message to the teacher on days I was struggling against particularly prohibitive pain. Regardless, I would still be marked late and reminded that three latenesses equaled an absence and that three absences triggered the potential to be cut from the program.

This brings me to my last point: I was very nearly expelled solely due to my condition rather than the work I enrolled to do. I was never informed that my teachers worried for me or that they felt I wouldn’t be able to deal with the rigors of the second year. This led to a four month repeal that, with only ten days’ notice before the new school year, resulted in an offer to repeat the first year.

I decided to complete what I had started, but developed a fear of semester evaluations keeping me from my certificate. I pushed myself past my physical limits to prove myself, which only resulted in more problems. I fractured my hand in an accident and a faculty member reacted by embarrassing me in class with many backhanded compliments about my work ethic.

What I have learned at Circle has been invaluable but I feel that my experience and memories have been tainted by a lack of respect, understanding, and (worryingly so) empathy. I truly want the school to understand the unnecessary pressure I endured and want them to understand that I am not the one disabled - they are. In the three years I attended Circle in the Square, I missed one day due to my condition. One.

— Anonymous