One

Hi, I’m Robin, a 2018 graduate of Circle in the Square Theatre School’s two-year conservatory program. The following are some of the racist experiences that I dealt with while at Circle.

A scene from Stephen Adly Guirgis’ “In Arabia, We Would All Be Kings” was chosen for class work twice. It has copious use of the n-word. The first time it was performed in class, was with two White women. The second time by women of color, but neither of them were Black. Alan Langdon allowed both of these scenes to happen. As a teacher who felt a character’s written gender shouldn’t be messed with, I found it hypocritical to let non-Black actors do a scene with decidedly Black language.

A fellow classmate told me she was more African than me because she went to Kenya for two years. I didn’t feel I had a point of authority to help me deal with that hell of a microaggression. Circle does not have a Human Resources Director or dedicated student liaison to facilitate that discussion as a majority of their faculty and administration is White. I was afraid to make waves since I had to do vulnerable scene work in a tiny room for the rest of the year with her. Support and advocacy would have been nice.

I was taught to use personal experience, tear down my walls, and be open on stage. I was not taught how to then cool down to a healthy place except by one teacher, who has had allegations against him for having inappropriate sexual relationships with his students. This does not help me feel safe, and made what was taught to us difficult to implement. We generally had no mental health support. I had a months-long depressive episode in my second year that greatly affected my studies. I felt like there was no one at school who could help me and was afforded no time or opportunity to take care of myself. How I didn’t kill myself while I was in class is beyond me.

I was the only Black woman in the musical theatre program, and one of two Black women in my entire class. Really?? You’re going to tell me you couldn’t find anyone else??? In goddamn New York City??? By putting one of us in each section, you ensured that we would never be able to do scenes that involved two Black women, and generally never got to work together. That frustrated me every time I went to pick a scene.

Speaking of which, I did have a few men of color in my class. All but one were kicked out or asked to repeat at the end of our first year. Circle was being reaccredited that year. Neither the year before nor the year after us had as many people of color.

Oh! All of my options given to me for showcase were songs either sung by slaves or whores. The only reasonable song option I got was “The Human Heart” from Once on This Island. This song was, at the time, being sung by Lea Salonga in the professional production above my head. Was I really going to do the same song for showcase?

I’m sure I can think of more incidents, but it’s hard to get enough therapy to deal with the world as is. Circle, get your act together, or go down in flames. Just quit taking us with you.

— Robin Murray